Prayer Room

Tonight was the third Monday night leading the Prayer Room at the prison. Each time I go having prayed, planned and released everything to the Lord. Each time He has taken over and used some of what I came with, some of what the men brought, and in keeping with His nature a few surprises. We began with silence and within a short time all of us began to pray prayers of repentence. We seemed to know that His Presence was there and we needed to wash our souls of all unrighteousness. After that, someone had a word about God wanting to heal a pain in the head or neck. One man received a healing after we prayed for him. God had been speaking to them that day through their case manager from the book of Daniel. Daniel 7 and 9 were the scriptures that I brought to them. Another wanted to anoint each man with oil and pray for a new release of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Soon it was 9:00 and I had to leave. Wow! It was more than I imagined. Time must be honored in prison but the Spirit of God makes it difficult to monitor time. Psalm 68:4-6,"Sing to God,sing praise to his name, extol Him who rides on the clouds. His name is the Lord-and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing..." Widow and Prisoners praying together to His Glory.

Atmosphere of Heaven

Experience the atmosphere of Heaven was the title of the weekend retreat that Jack and Anna Marie Sheffield facilitated last weekend. When I got the post card in the mail, I knew that I needed to be there. Jack presided at Billy's funeral and we are long time friends of Jack and Anna Marie. I really wanted to see them again, but that isn't why I wanted to go. I am desparate for a deeper relationship with the Lord. I called and registered immediately when this card came in the mail. That, isn't like me. I usually put things off until I can talk myself out of expending the effort. Everywhere I go, I am driving somewhere or attending church and church gatherings by Myself. So, this was another reason not to go. But, I felt that I must attend. Then on Friday, while packing and planning for the trip to Austin, I became very ill. I was in a lot of pain and somewhat afraid of what was happening in my body. I called Anna Marie and she prayed for me and said "Come." Then I called Carol and she said "Go. So, I drove at least half way to Austin before the pain left. Ok God, You are doing something. From the moment that I arrived, I began to meet new people. I feel like I have a least 14 new friends. I mean really sharing and praying friends. I prayed to release Billy to God. I have half-heartedly said that prayer but this time I meant it. The immediate result was that I could worship again with feeling, energy and joy. Many people were set free to worship in new ways and we felt a powerful presence of God the entire time. The love in the room was overwhelming. The unity and love was expressed in laughter, prophesy, manifestations of the spirit. I was told by more than one person ( who knew nothing about me ) that I was a queen/bride and that I would write a book. What confirmation!!!! God and Billy have said both of those things to me for years. Now must be the time to believe and act. I encourage anyone who wants to experience these things to check out www.deepriverministries.com and see when the next event is being held.

Forever Valentine

Most have mixed feelings about the commercial commitment to Valentines Day. Men live in fear that they won't meet their loved ones expectations. While women are usually wanting some validation that they are loved, appreciated, adored, beautiful and desired. Love means so many more things than flowers, candy, jewelry or what ever,but an expression of love from the loved one to the beloved is always deeply enjoyed. Song of Songs in the Bible is one of my favorites. The King tells his lover (me and us)."How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!...You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace....how delightful is your love...how much more pleasing is your love than wine." Billy learned to express his love in words. (Please read September 7 & 8 of the blog) These words from Billy continue to fill my heart but when Jesus called me His "Forever Valentine", I felt the strength to go on loving myself and others. Men need to hear words of love and validation also. The Lord tells them they are mighty and courageous, they (you) are handsome and wise. The Lord always backs His words up with a commitment to see us through. I believe He is telling me today that I am His Valentine everyday and forever. Tomorrow, I will tell you about how He showed me this past weekend. To my family and friends: I bless you to know how much the Lord loves you, and how beautiful, handsome and amazing you all are to Him and of course to me. I love you, Mom...,Nana... , Jennifer!!!!!!!!

Walking Together

As difficult as life can be,it can be lived with a feeling of purpose when you can share it with someone. I have a new friend, Diane Minor, that I have spent the last two Wednesdays with sharing our journey of grief and faith. She lost her beloved son and has the same difficult time understanding the purposes of God in the extremely painful path that God has asked her to walk. We spent these hours sharing the ways that we have searched out where our loved ones are and what they are doing. We both have read every book about heaven and surviving this loss of deep love. The questions remain, how and why are we to walk and live in this life, at this time and for whom? It seems we have asked God the same questions and have found ourselves recommiting our daily lives to find more reasons to love and serve Jesus while honoring the love that we still have for our loved ones. We both have a deeper compassion and commitment to see others find this Jesus that we and our "Williams" have for him. Oh , yes, both of us gave a "William" to Heaven. I am sure they were praying for the support that we have found in each other. I read something by Francis Frangipan today. First he said," The place of our fruitfulness is in the land of our affliction." Then his prayer, " Lord, You are God of the mountains and the valleys ...help me remember the crises of my life precede the enrichment of my life." God, may Diane, me and all of our fellow travelers on this journey of suffering find ourselves tasting this new fruit that brings Glory to you and strengthens us as well.

God Encounters

Watching for God everyday takes a lot of focus on Him and learning to stay peaceful. Usually when I am shopping I have my list and a time limit. Shopping with friends is great but otherwise it is always a chore. Yesterday, I was early for a lunch date and I went into a store near the restaurant. Since time was not a factor and I wasn't looking for anything, I started talking to the salesgirl. I asked her how long she had worked there. She responded that this was her last day because she was getting married this weekend. She went on to tell me that she and her fiance met when they were in a discipleship training for YWAM. I couldn't believe it because that is the group my son and daughter-in-law, Brad and Heather, have been with for over 10 years. She didn't know them because they were from different bases but we both felt such a connection. Then I told her about Billy's book and that Brad's father and my husband died suddenly about one and half years ago. She looked shocked and then told me the same thing had happened to her dad and that even though it was very hard, God had been faithful to them. I prayed a blessing on her new marriage, gave her a book and then we enjoyed a tender hug and tears. I left there feeling so loved by my Lord and that He knows every place I am going and who I am going to meet. I wonder if I have missed some encounters because I have been in a hurry and just didn't want to talk to anyone.

His Face

As Christians, we all encourage one another to seek the Lord and His Face when you have problems. Actually, we are guided to look to Him all the time. Questions come when we can't SEE Him. How do you see an invisable God? For me I have to find my hunger for Him. I can't be satisfied with anything or anyone else. For so long, I have felt completely satisfied with my marriage and the Love that I felt from Billy. I don't know if you can imagine this empty place in my heart without all the things that Billy blessed me with on a daily basis. I have looked at this place in my heart and asked the Lord to fill it with more of Him. No human can fill this, only God. So I try to obey Every Thing that I believe God is asking me to do. Spending time at Prison with the men that are as hungry as I am, has filled my vision with a clearer picture of the Lord. Last night, we gathered in the prayer room to seek the Lord. It was an amazing time. We all prayed the same prayers. Prayers for purity, for maturing, for boldness were voiced with Yes, and Amen from others. Worship at the end of the meeting was heavenly. I saw the Lord and He was High and Lifted Up. More,Lord.