The Last Thanksgiving?

What do people remember about you last Thanksgiving. Were you the one in the kitchen doing all of the dishes? Were you the one keeping the children active and happy? Were you the one willing to do what ever the host or hostess asked you to do to be helpful? Were you kind in all your conversations? Did you compliment or complain? Were you inclusive in all conversation and recognize anyone left out? We all remember that Billy did all the dishes. We all remember that he played with the children. We also remember that he never complained and loved the be outside frying the turkey. We have stories of him sticking the meat thermometer through his hand and just calmly washing his hand and putting an ice pack on it. We were freaking out but not him. What I experienced from early that morning was that he was always available to me to do unexpected errands. "Billy, would you get 2 more card tables from Hayley's house? Billy, will you go to the store for whipping cream oh and some more rolls? Billy, will you change the tables and put this one by the door?" He would do all these things and more and never complain. He really knew what it was like to be on a team. I was the team captain on these holidays. There were other times when he was the team captain and he would give the orders. (Like, packing the car for vacations) Please read the chapter from his book on Team Work ,p.38-39. We all need to realize that our words and actions give a lasting impression and we are seen from an eternal prespective. Gatherings, no matter who is there or what difficulties arise, are an opportunity to walk in love and demonstrate that Christ is in your heart.

Prodigals

I was pondering the story about the prodigal son while driving this morning. The reason it came to mind was that I was feeling like a prodigal that couldn't get angry feelings under control and find the peace that passes understanding. Let me explain, I was in traffic on Hwy 90 in Sugarland. Construction on one of the lanes had several signs warning everyone to get into the left lane. Of course, I obey all the rules. When others don't and it costs me,I deal with anger.It took a long time to travel a few miles because some wait until the last minute to move over and then force themselves into the correct lane.My time is valuable and I don't like pushy people. Please tell me you have had this happen to you. Suddenly, I remember that I told the Lord this morning that I wanted to live in His peace and feel that love in the little things in my life. I felt like the older brother that was angry that the Prodigal son, who did everything wrong was forgiven and then rewarded with a party and a place back at Father's table. Don't get me wrong, I have been the wayward son many times. Maybe, if I am honest,even when driving,if I was in a hurry I have found myself speeding or rolling through stop signs. My revelation this morning was that whether I am dealing with blatant sins or hypocracy, I separate myself from Father's love and peace. There doesn't seem to be a lot of difference between my own rebel choices and my judgement of others. Grace,Mercy,Forgiveness, Tolerance,Love. We need an abundance of these and the only way that we get them is to repent and remember who died for us. Nothing you or I do separates us from Daddy's love.

What is Love?

When you have loved someone for 4+ decades, you take forgranted the process that it took to get to this amazing love. Love must have a beginning revelation that leads to a commitment. Without a commitment this is lust not love. Once a commitment is made then it will be tested. The staying power is the revelation of the first love and a deligent pursuit to find it again. I fell in love with Billy as a teenager and so growing in love also required growing UP. This is the same process I have had in my relationship to the Lord. I had some early experiences when I felt a touch from Him and yet I was not able to commit. When Billy and I recommited our relationship to each other, we also recommited our relationship to Jesus. That is when we really fell in love. Several more difficult times required a recognition of the need to recommit to love in my heart. Today I stand in that place of a need to fall in love again with my Lord. Grief seems to produce a lot of anger and disappointment. I need to surrender again to the one that unconditionally loves me. I felt the burning in my heart last night when I listened to Doug Stringer and David Ravenhill talk about being on the altar for God and letting His fire consume everything. At that point he begins to give you more than you can ask or imagine. I am thankful that my commitment to the Lord keeps me in this diligent pursuit even when I don't feel like it. I am thankful for new friends like Karen who invite me to hear wonderful speakers. Is this what the two disciples felt like when they were walking on the road to Emmaus? They listened to the stranger talk to them, they invited him to stay with them, He presented life to them in communion and then they realized "Didn't we feel on fire as he conversed with us on the road as he opened up the Scriptures for us?" They found Jesus again after the disappointment.

I LOVE YOU, JESUS
I LOVE YOU, FATHER
I LOVE YOU, HOLY SPIRIT

I recommit to Love

While I am Waiting

The Lord often in scripture reminds us that we must Wait. "Wait on the Lord: Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart"NKJV. Is that as hard for you as it is for me? I think the answer is YES,YES. Waiting causes me to feel unsettled, maybe irritated, sometimes afraid and always uncomfortable. It can be something as small as having to wait on one of those computer lines to change phone companies to waiting in traffic or waiting for an important phone call about a job possibility. Or, like little Gabriel last week, waiting for the antibiotics to start working . Currently I am waiting on something that I can't even describe. It causes me to spend a large amount of time asking God questions about the future. I haven't gotten any answers but for short periods of time, I can hold on to a feeling of peace. I love the verses in Jeremiah 33. "While Jeremiah was still locked up in jail, a second Message from God was given him. This is God's message,The God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God:"Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous things that you could never figure out on your own." THE MESSAGE. Notice that Jeremiah was still in jail. God didn't fix his circumstances before He gave him a great revelation about his (Jeremiah's and Israels )future. Jeremiah lived a difficult life, but God revealed amazing things to him. So!!! Am I waiting for circumstances to change or am I waiting on more revelation of the Living God working in and through me. Until I know more answers, I am determined to worship Him, love Him and listen for Him to reveal Himself to me. Oh yes, and learn to wait patiently.

Don't Run

This has been a day or yet a week when I wanted to run away. I don't know where I would go or what I would do, I just didn't want the pain anymore. Everyone is still wonderful to me, but this beautiful fall weather reminds me of what I would be doing if Billy were here. Watching the leaves blow across the back yard and then taking a walk down our street to the Brazos River was a regular after work event. I have been working on trusting God to fill the empty places. I really believe He will do something. I just keep praying for direction. I hear others say that this is a very difficult time for them. Nothing seems to work the way that it used to. Not jobs or finances, not carefree gatherings with friends and not even the understanding of "Who I Am". I was praying about all of this when my eyes landed on this scripture. THE MESSAGE; Luke 9,22-26. "Then He told them what they could expect for themselves. Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat--I am. DON'T RUN from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I"LL show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it be to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?"

I choose today to stop my "self-pity thinking". I will not run away or make excuses and I will serve someone else today. It is almost time for me to go to prison and lead my group in their Finding God in their Stories.

Humility

It is sometimes difficult to distinquish true humility from a false pride. Usually we don't even know our own hearts until we are given a "life test". We (Billy and I) were living in this beautiful home and serving God at church and in the prisons. We were very happy to serve the Lord and others and life was great. Then one year after we took on this new mortgage, Billy was laid off from Fluor after 32 years of employment. Suddenly we were faced with financial concerns. I carefully reduced our budget and planned to stretch every savings that we had. Billy was dealing with feeling like he had failed as a provider. He knew the lie behind these thoughts so we determined to pray and fast and worship God together in our home every evening. One day Billy told me that he felt that God wanted us to give a certain amount of money to other unemployed people in our church. That struck fear in me but I knew that Billy had heard from God and that we needed to obey. Following that obedience, he was able to get a contract job from our long time friend Dick Wall's company. That job had a time limit and I was trying to stay faithfully away from the "what ifs". God was faithful to my "Moses like husband". One week after he left the contract job, he was back fulltime at Fluor and he was given the raise that he missed when he was laid off.

I am working to let my knowledge of God's faithfulness in the past encourage my faith for the future. With so many people unemployed and underemployed in this current time, I challenge you to look back and yes, even write down the details of how God provided for you in the past. He will never leave you or forsake you. If you are in a difficult situation, ask God if you need to give more to others, pray more for yourselves and friends and begin to say outloud. MY GOD IS FAITHFUL.

P.S. Thank you Dick and Betty Wall for being such generous givers to our family.

Tomorrow

What is tomorrow going to bring? How do I know what to do or plan for? Do I have a reference from the past to guide me?

Several times my adult married children have needed support in a bad economy. Hayley and Richard with twin babies (Tyler and Trevor) moved in with us after Richard lost his job in the construction business in Austin. They lived with Billy and I from October 2001 until September 2002. During that time we all made the adjustments to put two families and two generations under one roof. A lot of change for all.God was very good (as usual) and Richard was creative and industrious. He was able to build us a beautiful home on 2 acres with amazing attention to details. We were able to help them buy our current home. Because of those events, Billy and I lived and loved this homestead for almost 6 years. All the grandchildren have enjoyed this spacious yard and the adults love sitting on the back porch looking out at that wonderful tree line that you can see in the above picture.

Today Jeff and Shanna, Ava and Cole live with me. What an adjustment finding a place for all our posessions. Every closet is filled along with the garage.God did answer my prayer about being alone and somewhat fearful in this big house. What was painfully lonely now has family.
I love seeing Jeff on the riding lawn mower just like his Dad. I love having meals with family. Shanna and I share these duties. I love getting hugs from Ava and Cole every morning and evening. And yes, we still have to work on two generations living together and two families in crowded spaces. We still have all the grandchildren over to play in the backyard and we still sit on the porch watching the beauty of the nature God has provided for us. They will probably (God willing) move back into their lovely home next year.

Something is coming. I don't know what it is and I do start to panic at times. Then I remember God faithfulness. Remember the words in the song " When you can't see His hand, Trust His Heart. My God is for me and my family and will always see us through. He knows the plans He has for us, for a hope and a future.

Angels

Jaime,Michelle,Kaylah and Gabriel Angel are gifts to our family. They adopted Billy and I as their parents and added us as Nana and Papa to Kaylah and Gabriel when they became parents. They are faithful to be at all family holiday and birthday gatherings. I always get special Mother's Day gifts from them. But today, I received a really special gift. When I walked into Gabriel's hospital room, he looked at me with tired but beautiful eyes and said " Hi, Nana." Gabriel has been very sick this week with bacterial pneumonia and the flu. He has been in ICU and now CCU at Texas Children's Hospital. In spite of the wonderful outpouring of love and prayer from a lot of friends, all of us were more than concerned. Do I dare say, worried? Yes. Mom and Dad are exhausted but thankful for the improvement that we see in his little body. He has been on many prayer lists in several states. I don't begin to understand how our prayers and especially our collective prayers move the hand of God to heal. I don't understand how some are healed and others are not. I don't understand how some suffering is allowed to stay in innocent children even when we pray. But, I know that I know that my God is good. I know he loves Gabriel, Kaylah ( she can't even go to the hospital) Michelle and Jaime. I believe His words that He hears our prayers and that Jesus defeated our enemies (sickness ++++) on the cross.

Friends, please pray and pray often for yourselves and others to be protected from this enemy of sickness. Pray that "No weapon formed against us can prosper" Pray Psalm 91 . The Message
Psalm 91:9-11..Yes, because God's your refuge, the High God your very own home, Evil can't get close to you, harm can't get through the door. He ordered his ANGELS to guard you wherever you go. If you stumble, they'll catch you, their job is to keep you from falling....